Trials and Temptations

No one said missionary life would be easy, right? The past couple of weeks have definitely tested my faith, that's for sure. Difficult situations, both in my own life and in the lives of those around me, have hit me smack in the face lately. I have often been reminded of the 23rd Psalm and its familiar words: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil..." I feel like I am walking through the valley of the shadow of death right now. However, I know that I am never alone and that I have nothing to fear because God always walks beside me.

Not every aspect of my life has been gloomy lately; there have certainly been some very exciting times! Last weekend, Cassidy, Alex, and I had another "American Night," where we fixed American food (mac & cheese and brownies) and watched a movie in English :) I love Paraguayan food, but it was wonderful to eat something that reminded me of home. I definitely had too much chocolate, as I ate several brownies (plus part of the batter beforehand) and quite a few chocolate chips (which we added to the brownies for a more chocolaty taste). I also drank several glasses of chocolate milk with my meal. In addition to our fun "American Night," I recently received a huge care package from my family. My parents, my grandma, and my one aunt and uncle all split the cost of the items inside. It was intended to arrive in time for my birthday but got here about a week late. That didn't bother me, as it was filled with snack foods, cosmetics, birthday cards from my family, and some miscellaneous items - all things I can enjoy no matter when I receive them! When you are thousands of miles from home, a care package is a care package :)

Hooray for American Night! :)

roomies eating mac & cheese

the contents of the package I received from my family

Temperatures have been all over the place lately, but in general they are cooling off a bit. Most days are in the 80's, but a couple of days have reached 90 or 91 in the last week. Although 90 is still hot, at least it is not unbearably hot like the first month or so that I was here. I don't think we will see many more days around 90 until later in the year, as we are in fall now. There have also been some rather chilly days and nights lately, with rain included. The coldest night we have experienced has been 55, which really isn't that cold for someone who lives in Ohio. However, after living in 85-105 degree temps the past couple of months, 55 feels cold! Because the first day of fall was officially last week, we had our "Fall Back" last weekend. I sure needed an extra of sleep! The U.S. experienced "Spring Forward" a couple of weeks prior to our "Fall Back," meaning that I am now on the same exact time as Eastern! The time zones evened out since one of us sprung forward and the other fell back :) We will remain on the same time until October when Paraguay goes off of Daylight Savings. Then I will be one hour ahead again.

a beautiful view from our roof

Two weeks ago, a team of eight Brazilians visited Paraguay for mission work. Six of them stayed at Alex's house, and two stayed with John and Colleen Eisenberg. They visited several local schools during the school day, including the school where I teach, Nuevo Horizonte. At Nuevo Horizonte, they led several special chapel services for our students, both young and old. One evening, Alex, Cassidy, and I (and the Brazilians) attended a church service in a town named San Lorenzo, about 40 minutes from Lambaré. My host dad Andrés preached, and then a traditional guarani band played some of their favorite music. They were fantastic - so much so that I bought one of their CDs. It was very exciting to interact with some Brazilians for a week because I have been wanting to learn Portuguese, and I was able to practice my listening and speaking skills with them. I love being bilingual in English and Spanish because Portuguese is similar enough to Spanish that I could understand probably 80% of their Portuguese. I didn't know enough to speak back to them in Portuguese, but I still learned a lot! A couple of them know English (one specifically is fluent), and a couple of them know Spanish, so I was able to use the two languages I know in order to communicate...plus pick up a bit of the third language. The final night they were here, we all went to the costanera (coastline) and sang songs in the sand in English, Spanish, and Portuguese. Three language, ONE GOD! How awesome is that?! He transcends all cultures!

traditional guarani music at a church service in San Lorenzo

the costanera (coastline) at night 

a view across the sand

School has been in a category of its own lately. I have had to call the elementary principal and the dean of students into my room three times in the past couple of weeks. I am having a very difficult time trying to control a classroom of either 27 or 29 unruly students. It seems like when I turn my back to help one student, four more are in the corner of the room sticking their tongues out at one another or rolling around on the floor. I have one student in particular who gets the whole class going. I have begun to draw a smiley face on the board. Those who are behaving well get their name written beneath the smiley. As long as they continue to behave well throughout the entire class period, their name stays where it is. This technique helps because it points out who is and isn't paying attention in class. I was so frustrated with my morning class last week that I began tearing up in front of the students. I know that's not good because it shows weakness, but I was SO frustrated! I am still trying to keep my cool and simply pray daily for my students so that I am not yelling or behaving in a way that is not proper, especially for a missionary. I need to continue to be reminded of my purpose here - to shine the light of Christ!

I am running out of things to say this time around. I have been quite emotionally unstable lately, but I know where I need to turn in order to solve that problem! Time in the Word of God and in prayer is essential anyway, but even more so when you feel like you are going through the fire. I wish the movie God's Not Dead were showing in Paraguay because I believe that it is the exact movie I need to see right now...one that discusses belief in God. What will you do and where will you turn when your faith is truly tested? I don't want to reach the point where I believe that God is not living and active in my life. He is with me every second of every day, and I must embrace His presence in my life!

Until next time, Dios te bendiga! :)

Ways you can be praying...
1) my health (especially emotional right now)
2) my relationships with my host family, roommate, students, and God
3) patience, strength, and peace in the classroom (especially first grade)
4) to not doubt who God truly is and the power that He has in my life

Birthday Celebrations, Warmth, and So Much More!

My first seven weeks in Paraguay have flown by! I honestly cannot tell you where the last two months went! I guess that means I am having fun, right?! Yes, yes it does!!! :)

School has been the most challenging part of my stay thus far in Paraguay. I expected the pre-school and kindergarten classes to cause me the most stress, being the youngest students at the school. However, first grade has been the battle! I am often the only teacher in the room during that 40-minute time slot because the regular classroom teacher leaves the room since it is her only free period of the day. It is extremely difficult to control a class of 27 or 29 students entirely by myself, especially when the students constantly yell, get out of their seats and walk around, roll on the floor, and so much more! I have discovered that I should plan only one main activity for each class session because I never get through everything I have in mind for the day. I waste entirely too much time telling the students how to behave, which should not be occurring. Some days are much worse than others, today being one of those days. My patience has definitely been tested in the two months that I have been here, and I hope that things improve or it will be a very long school year! The most frustrating part of this situation for me is that I came here desiring to teach these students English, and they show me next to no respect.  I left my country, my friends, and my family for a year to be a missionary because I love God and I love helping others. It is easy to become discouraged because I am here only by the support of so many loved ones, and I feel as if I am not able to fulfill my duty. However, God tells us in His Word: "Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9. Something on which to meditate...

I'm 23! :)

Tali and me on my 23rd birthday

my birthday kiss :)

I celebrated my 23rd birthday in South America last week. How awesome is that?!?! This was the first birthday in 23 years spent away from home and in 90+ temperatures! In fact, it didn't even seem like it was time for my birthday since it has been so hot here and I am accustomed to much cooler weather in March! Despite these differences, it was NOT a disappointing birthday! Everyone went all out for the occasion...and then some. Friday morning, the faculty and staff at New Horizon sang "Happy Birthday" to me in Spanish, English, and Guarani at our daily devotions. My morning and afternoon 1st grade English classes also sang to me. the fifth and sixth grade teachers; my fellow English teachers Alex and Cassidy; and missionary couple Tim and Margarita all took me out to eat at a buffet in the largest mall in Lambaré. Tim and Margarita paid for my meal, though it was the fifth grade teacher's idea to go out. Alex, Cassidy, and I ate donuts from a different vendor in the mall after we ate lunch. Alex paid for the donuts as his birthday treat to me. I received a small gift from one of the middle school teachers because she felt bad that she couldn't join us for lunch. My host parents also bought me a Disney mug as a gift. That night, our family went a prayer vigil at church which lasted until about midnight. The event itself was extremely rejuvenating, but we were all exhausted when we got home a little before 1 a.m. and to bed around 2:30. Saturday, Cassidy, Alex, and I went out for ice cream, and Cassidy paid for mine as her birthday gift to me. That evening was the true surprise!!! I was told to stay upstairs in the room for a couple of hours and not come down until I received word. FINALLY, Cassidy told me that I was needed in the kitchen. It was pitch black, but I could tell that there were lots of people standing in the dark. Suddenly, the lights turned on, and 18 people stood before me holding signs that said "Happy Birthday" in 3 different languages. Each sign was signed by almost every person in attendance. There were also many balloons with different messages on them. I was sung to in Spanish, English, and Guarani once again, and then we all enjoyed plenty of pizza and ice cream. I received a pair of earrings from the one of the girls in attendance; she goes to our church. We chatted with one another for quite some time and even played some Uno late into the night. All in all, I have to say that it was the best birthday yet!!! I received SO much more than I deserve!

Silvana, Marlene, and me out to lunch for my birthday

my Disney mug birthday gift from Mama and Papa

Cassidy and I ready for the prayer vigil at church

The hot weather has refused to give up. Every time I think autumn/winter is here to stay, summer decides to strike again. We have seen a few cooler days in the upper 70's and lower 80's, but for the most part the temperatures have been in the upper 90's. In fact, today it was 95, and tomorrow it is expected to be 96. I hope those are the final two super hot days this summer. I am so ready for Paraguayan winter! Of course, winter here won't be anything like winter in Ohio. Temps should fall to only an average of 65 degrees during the day. It will just be great to not suffer in the temps we are currently experiencing. Last night we had a sudden power outage which lasted for several hours, and Cassidy and I wanted to go to bed before the electricity came back on. That meant trying to fall asleep with no air conditioning or a fan. Not good! It eventually came back on a little after midnight, and I woke up at 12:30 only a little sweaty from sleeping awhile in the heat. One thing is true: I am realizing more and more every day how thankful I am to have moved to South America this year. The heat and humidity may be uncomfortable, but I would still rather have that instead of around 70 inches of snow, wind, ice, and freezing temps (many of those being subzero). It still hasn't completely dawned on me that I am in the summer season while Ohio is still experiencing winter. I have already become so accustomed to this weather that I forget what it is like to chill. I just try not to sweat to death every day :)

Many Paraguayans have asked me recently if I miss my country, my friends, and my family. Yes, I do miss all of those things, but I am also not homesick (if that makes sense). It is a healthy emotion, meaning that I am not constantly obsessing over the fact that I can't be with the people and in the places that I love most. I am surprised that I feel so content here because I honestly feared that I would be very homesick being overseas for a third extended period of time. I remember how homesick I felt in Spain and Macedonia for much shorter time frames, so being away from home for 11 months made me really nervous. Granted, I still have many months to go, but I don't see my state of contentment changing any time soon. I love it here and know that this is what I am supposed to be doing. Besides, I keep so busy that I usually don't even have time to think about home! This is not to say that I don't have rough days. Of course I do. I know that it is only by God's grace that I feel so at peace in this country.

Until next time, may God bless each one of you who reads this post! He truly is a mighty God! Never underestimate His power and faithfulness! Always be listening for His voice (and only His voice), and be willing to go wherever He may send you! Blessings! :)

Ways you can be praying...
1) for my pre-school, kindergarten, and 1st grade students and their families
2) for my relationship with Cassidy, my host family, and the other Paraguayans with whom I come into contact regularly
3) confidence, strength, and peace with my teaching (especially 1st grade)
4) to hear God's voice and be willing to follow Him wherever He leads

Re-dedication

What a busy week this has been! All of us at New Horizon have been rushing around to complete the letters that the students write to their sponsors ("godparents") twice a year. We were notified last week that they should be done ASAP, the beginning of this week at the latest. This wasn't too difficult of a task with the younger ones because they can start and finish their letters in one class period. They obviously haven't had as much English education, so they don't write a letter from scratch. Instead, they color a few pictures and fill in blanks in a message that the teachers write. The upper grades were at more of a disadvantage because once the students had written their letters from scratch, they still needed to be translated to English and then edited. As the first grade English teacher, I was responsible for writing a short message with blanks (My name is ______. I am _____ years old. My favorite color is ______.) and placing some small pictures on the letters for the students to color. The first couple weeks of school I did only a brief review of content that was necessary for the letters. Now that they are finished, I can elaborate on that content, as well as teach other subject matter.

This past weekend Cassidy, Alex, and I attended the national youth camp for the Paraguayan Methodist church. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, but I don't think I have ever been so physically exhausted in my life! Not only did we play many active games outside, but we also didn't get much sleep! I sat out by the pool a little too long without sunscreen, too. Each day we had several services, devotions, free time, and meals as a group. Saturday was the most tiring day of the three because that is when we played games most of the afternoon. We did everything from rolling on top of one another to get from one cone to the other, sliding face first down soapy tarps, crawling under a bench with a river of mud running beneath it, and answering questions while standing under a water balloon that was constantly being filed before it exploded on our head. One of my favorite activities from the entire weekend was late-night worship. Each service included lots of praise and worship and a message. Saturday night we were out and about until after 2:00 a.m. because we had an evening of elegance by the pool, followed by a talent show in the yard. Each of us had to enter the formal night with a partner; no one could arrive solo. I walked in with Alex, one of the other missionary interns. If I forget all other parts of church camp, there is one moment I will never forget: when I re-dedicated my life to Christ. This is something I had been needing/wanting to do for quite awhile now. I finally humbled my heart and crucified the flesh and all of its passions and desires, knowing that I belong to Christ Jesus! I am HIS CHILD, and nothing can separate me from the love that we share! I am allowing Him to completely transform me from the inside out, with no turning back! What a privilege it is to be able to call Him Daddy! :) :) :)

en route to camp

our bags in our cabin

the pool :)

such beautiful countryside!

ready for formal night!

The only negative experience I have had in Paraguay thus far is the bug that I caught over the weekend at church camp. I woke up yesterday morning with a sore throat, a stuffy nose, and a stomachache. Thankfully I have Mondays off from work, so I stayed home and slept most of the day. I wasn't feeling well enough to go to school today, so I again stayed home and slept many hours. The only food I have had today has been some rice, some Sprite with a tad of salt, and an apple. I am extremely weak and hungry, but I know that I can't eat whatever I feel like or it won't stay down. I am hoping to return to work tomorrow because I know that I am needed as the only 1st grade English teacher. However, I am not sure how much strength I will have. Working with the little ones requires much more energy than working with middle school and high school students. I have such awesome Godly host parents because they came up to my room, embraced me, and prayed over me last night. They truly love me and care for me, which is one of the best feelings in the world! Mama has gone out of her way to fix me certain foods and drinks, and everyone has allowed me plenty of time to rest so that I recover quickly. I don't want to be sick for my birthday Friday!!

As you can see, my week has been filled with exciting moments and not so exciting moments, but through it all God is good! I continue to remain VERY content in Paraguay and am allowing myself to follow whatever path God tells me to take in life, whether I like it or not. Following Him isn't always easy. In fact, it can be extremely rough at times. I just want to guarantee that I am on the path to righteousness at all times!

Until next time...God bless!

Ways you can be praying...
1) for a speedy recovery from my illness
2) for strength in teaching each day
3) that I continue to listen to God's voice daily